1. “The top thing on my bucket list is…to have sex before I die.”
2. “Laughter is so important. Laugh at yourself, at each other. Laugh!”
3. “Enjoy people’s presence. Really enjoy them.”
4. “Have confidence in yourself. It’s the hardest thing for a woman, but don’t “think” you are beautiful. Know you are beautiful!”
5. “Family is the most important. Your family will always be there when you need them.”
6. “Be friends with your parents. When my mother was sick, she would do the funniest things and we would laugh. That felt good!”
7. “Be careful what you pray for”
8.”Do everything in moderation. Throw a magic mike movie in there…it was amazing! I was squeezing my coke so hard the top popped off and soda went everywhere.”
9. “Pick your battles. Don’t stay angry”
10. “Jealousy is poison. I spent a lot of my married life being that. Made things worse and it was a waste of good time.”
11. “Get up when you get knocked down. Meet it head on. Sometimes challenges are blessings in disguise.”
12.”Now that I’m 75, I know I’m lucky to be here. I know I’m lucky to have my health, but it’s scary now. Another year closer to mortality. You start to wonder how it will all end.”
Our mind is powerful beyond our own comprehension; and so it makes us suffer. It creates our realities and allows for us to expand our horizons or keep ourselves imprisoned in our thought processes. It provides for interesting conversations with ourselves of momentary clarity or aching confusion. Even when we sleep, the mind travels through our subconscious, rummaging through our deepest thoughts and compiling dreams that may wake us up in drenched sweat. It never stays quiet. It can argue with itself or stroke its own ego all in the same conversation. It can make itself up but then change itself 2 seconds later….and once the decision is followed through, it can harbor regret and guilt in its deepest corners creating agitating doubt. It makes it all a terrible tragedy, when the reality of it all is no such thing. It creates fear and plays with it by introducing ideas which feeds its growth. So what to do? Don’t stop to think….just stop to think.
1. Never try to save someone from themselves, in the end, the one who will need saving is you.
2. Understand everyone loves differently. Some love with cooking you dinner, and some love with leaving you a note to remind you how wonderful you are.
3. If someone is only impressed by your material wealth, expect a hollow heart.
4. Always listen when you hear and think before you speak.
5. Be the person you want the other to be.
6. Give to give and receive with appreciation and without expectation
7. Always argue fair and never point a finger in blame. Remember when you are pointing your finger at someone, three of them are pointing right back at you.
8. Never be ashamed to SHOW love. Even if it means you may get rejected. Love is better expressed than repressed.
9. When a relationship ends, no matter the circumstances, let go of it along with any anger or resentment. Wish the person well and hope they find a better love than what you gave. Energy is reciprocated, what you put out you get back.
10. A broken heart will heal. The next person to hold it is not responsible for what happened to it before.
11. Choose someone who will make you a better person.
By definition, FEAR is “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.” For me, fear is the drunk friend who I need to send to rehab so it can come back and experience life sober. I have allowed for this friend to hang around for a long time. Giving it shot after shot of tequila and keeping it obliterated so life never looks completely possible. I stumble with it and instead of allowing it to pass out and sleep, I carry it around with me to my next chapter and feed it some more. There are also people that come around who help me keep my friend wasted and who actually enjoy seeing my friend and I attached and co-dependent. They introduce me to their drunk friends who apparently they carry around as well. The distraction of the lush never allows for me to attend to what I truly want in life. It keeps me in its fog and drains the life out of me. It convinces me that if I just let it sleep to sober up, I will not be able to survive without it. It has persuaded me that life for me is only supposed to be a struggle and the only way to get through it, is to carry the drunk around with me so I feel protected and prepared. However, I also have another friend named FAITH. FAITH is pure and honest. It makes sure I stop to smell the roses and joins me on long walks to make sure I am taking in what life has to offer. It listens to every single word I say and tells me everything I wish for, I will achieve. It opens my heart so I may pour it all out while filling it right back up again with the most sobering love. It has been knocking on my door for a while, but FEAR has made me keep FAITH outside, never allowing it to come in but waiting patiently. Until now!! I put fear on a plane to the best rehab one can go to. It’s probably doing deep meditative yoga right now and kicking itself in the ass for not sobering up sooner. As for FAITH and I, well, we are moving along very nicely and wish FEAR all the best.
Heavy heart, dark heart, let go of your guilt.
Tear down all those towering walls you have slowly built.
Heavy heart, dark heart, let go of your pain.
Realize to see a rainbow, you have to enjoy the rain.
Heavy heart, dark heart, let go of your worry
Life eventually ends, so smell the roses in no hurry.
Heavy heart, dark heart, let go of your shame
You have the universe inside, you are not your shamed name.
Heavy heart, dark heart, let go of your fear
Look back and see you got through and now you are here.
Heavy heart, dark heart, let go of your grief
Sadness steals today’s joys, don’t let it be your thief.
Heavy heart, dark heart, let go of your Anger
sail your boat away and let forgiveness be your anchor.
Heavy heart, dark heart let go of the load
Keep your baggage light on this beautiful life’s road
1. You are not your past!
So many of us have allowed the past to haunt our present; from the loves lost to the unfinished degree. Going through the inventory of what ifs and mentally beat ourselves up about how much further we should be in life. We pass by opportunities because we are so invested in the regrets of our pasts and the shame of our mistakes, that we do not feel deserving of something better. However, realize, you are not your past; you are not your mistakes. Your past was an experience which you can add to the résumé of your life as an accomplishment. Failed or passed, you went through it and survived! You are not your past! You are the accomplished survivor!
2. Other’s Perception of you is not in your image, it is in their image.
What will everyone think? How will I be perceived if I showed this side of myself? These are the questions we ask ourselves before shedding the mask we put on before facing the world. Truth is it does not matter what everyone will think or how everyone will perceive you; People will only see you based on the way they see themselves first. People will only see you based on how they approach the world. Perception is a way of regarding, understanding or interpreting something. Not everyone will regard, understand or interpret you the same. Shed your mask, be bold, be confident.
3. Your experience can be the beacon to inspire others
“No man is an island; Entire of itself, Every man is a piece of the continent, A part of the main.” John Donne, this passage from the poem can be a great way to interpret how we are all connected. We are all guaranteed to have an impact on at least one other person in this world. Many of our actions can be a direct consequence of someone’s reaction, just as much as our action can inspire another’s reaction. Why not inspire positive action and reaction? Why not be an example? Why not be the change? Often times, the message we are waiting for is the one we have to give.
4. Everything that you believe yourself to be is something you have told yourself you are.
What does your self-dialogue sound like? Are you calling yourself names or are you praising yourself for a day well done? Are you beating yourself up for your blunders or are you cheering yourself on through experiences? The opinion we have of ourselves does not come from outside influences, it actually comes from your inside influence. If you believe yourself to be capable, deserving, smart, funny and beautiful, that is what you are. You are the storyteller of your own essence. An outside influence may try to edit your story, but that story will only change if you allow it to change. That outside influence has to come through the gates of acceptance first. If you accept that you are what others say you are, that is another section you have added to the story you tell yourself. You are the writer and you are writing in pencil. Erase what does not serve your worthiness.
5. You are in control!
You are in control of what you allow or do not allow in your life. You are in control of what opportunities to take or to bypass. You are in control whether to settle or to chase and conquer the impossible. You are in control of the story you tell yourself. You are in control of how much effort to feed your happiness or misery. You are in control of who is allowed to take up space in your life. You are in control where you invest your energy. You are in control of your worthiness. You can let worthiness be a self-imposed limitation or a complete liberation, up to you