Surface Bullshit

Small talks to break the ice
First impression, surface nice.
But what lies there behind those eyes?
Who are you past your disguise?
What is setting that soul on fire?
What is keeping that heart inspired?
Not so interested in your threads;
A decorated shell you’ll one day shed.
What I want’s to be led inside,
To the dark corners of your mind.
To learn more about your being
And to see you through your seeing
Because what matters is how you tick
Under your shell and surface bullshit.


Rho Ophiuchi and newborn star captured by NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope
Rho Ophiuchi and newborn star captured by NASA’s Spitzer Space Telescope

Is there such a thing as fate?

Something to just patiently await?

Is it written in the stars?

How this life will go from the start?

Are we born with this song complete?

And just march to life’s beat?

Is there an agreement already made?

Before we take on this crusade?

Once we take our first breath,

Is a date already set for death?

Do we hold it in our hands?

Lines in palms revealing plans?

Is it simple intuition?

Or in our closed eyed vision?

One of those questions to contemplate

Is there is such a thing as fate…..?

Still Waters


They say, “still waters run deep”.

A calming surface, dozing sleep. 

Reflecting back what peaks through

No judgments shared, just a mirror image of you.

The wind blows it’s cool breeze

To ripple these “still water’s” ease.

Then clouds send the hard felt rain.

Pattering on the glass like surface pane.

After these elements visit and leave,

These “still waters” settle back down with ease.

No evidence of any bother on the surface.

The elements contemplate “what was my purpose?”

But they never thought to once wonder,

What in the world lives down under?

Is it beautiful treasures which hides there?

Or maybe a vast wasteland empty and bare?

Is it a monster ravenous with anger?

Or a darkness so deep, an uninviting stranger?

So you ask the water, “how deep do you go?”

“Staring at your own reflection, you’ll never know.

You’ll have to jump in so you can see,

How deep these ‘still waters’ can be.”

The story of Fear and I

Painting by Jose Roosevelt
Painting by Jose Roosevelt

By definition, FEAR is “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.” For me, fear is the drunk friend who I need to send to rehab so it can come back and experience life sober. I have allowed for this friend to hang around for a long time. Giving it shot after shot of tequila and keeping it obliterated so life never looks completely possible. I stumble with it and instead of allowing it to pass out and sleep, I carry it around with me to my next chapter and feed it some more. There are also people that come around who help me keep my friend wasted and who actually enjoy seeing my friend and I attached and co-dependent. They introduce me to their drunk friends who apparently they carry around as well. The distraction of the lush never allows for me to attend to what I truly want in life. It keeps me in its fog and drains the life out of me. It convinces me that if I just let it sleep to sober up, I will not be able to survive without it. It has persuaded me that life for me is only supposed to be a struggle and the only way to get through it, is to carry the drunk around with me so I feel protected and prepared. However, I also have another friend named FAITH. FAITH is pure and honest. It makes sure I stop to smell the roses and joins me on long walks to make sure I am taking in what life has to offer. It listens to every single word I say and tells me everything I wish for, I will achieve. It opens my heart so I may pour it all out while filling it right back up again with the most sobering love. It has been knocking on my door for a while, but FEAR has made me keep FAITH outside, never allowing it to come in but waiting patiently. Until now!! I put fear on a plane to the best rehab one can go to. It’s probably doing deep meditative yoga right now and kicking itself in the ass for not sobering up sooner. As for FAITH and I, well, we are moving along very nicely and wish FEAR all the best.