“Validation Is For Parking” – Austin Kleon

Written for and Published in The Seeds 4 Life.

“Tell me who I am. Tell me what I’m worth.” If WE ARE not the ones asking this to ourselves, then we are asking the wrong person. What others know about us is what we choose to share…filtered through their own perception of life. Frankly, the validity others provide for us has nothing to do with us. It has all to do with how THEY see themselves and their world. Why be so consumed with seeking others to validate our existence?

If we pinch ourselves, we feel it. If we look into a mirror, we see a reflection. If we drink a hot cup of coffee, we taste the warmth and flavor of a beverage. We exist. We are real. There are many things outside of another person’s validation that reminds us we are here. A “like,” a retweet, a “heart,” a “share,” or a comment, are contributions that serve as reminders to each other that what we share on these platforms, resonates with another’s thinking and perspective. It is a bias opinion and bias opinions are all there is.

Validation is for parking. That is where we should seek it. In other aspects of our lives, we need to learn how to embrace ourselves, learn how to live our lives without asking for another’s permission or acceptance. It is our life. Our journey. WE tell others who we are. WE show others what our worth is. And if we are confident enough in who we are and our worth, then telling others won’t be necessary.

 

5 Reasons Why You Are Worthy

1. You are not your past!

So many of us have allowed the past to haunt our present; from the loves lost to the unfinished degree. Going through the inventory of what ifs and mentally beat ourselves up about how much further we should be in life. We pass by opportunities because we are so invested in the regrets of our pasts and the shame of our mistakes, that we do not feel deserving of something better. However, realize, you are not your past; you are not your mistakes. Your past was an experience which you can add to the résumé of your life as an accomplishment. Failed or passed, you went through it and survived! You are not your past! You are the accomplished survivor!

 

2. Other’s Perception of you is not in your image, it is in their image.

What will everyone think? How will I be perceived if I showed this side of myself? These are the questions we ask ourselves before shedding the mask we put on before facing the world. Truth is it does not matter what everyone will think or how everyone will perceive you; People will only see you based on the way they see themselves first. People will only see you based on how they approach the world. Perception is a way of regarding, understanding or interpreting something. Not everyone will regard, understand or interpret you the same. Shed your mask, be bold, be confident.

 

3. Your experience can be the beacon to inspire others

“No man is an island; Entire of itself, Every man is a piece of the continent, A part of the main.” John Donne, this passage from the poem can be a great way to interpret how we are all connected. We are all guaranteed to have an impact on at least one other person in this world. Many of our actions can be a direct consequence of someone’s reaction, just as much as our action can inspire another’s reaction. Why not inspire positive action and reaction? Why not be an example? Why not be the change? Often times, the message we are waiting for is the one we have to give.

 

 

4. Everything that you believe yourself to be is something you have told yourself you are.

What does your self-dialogue sound like?  Are you calling yourself names or are you praising yourself for a day well done? Are you beating yourself up for your blunders or are you cheering yourself on through experiences? The opinion we have of ourselves does not come from outside influences, it actually comes from your inside influence. If you believe yourself to be capable, deserving, smart, funny and beautiful, that is what you are. You are the storyteller of your own essence. An outside influence may try to edit your story, but that story will only change if you allow it to change. That outside influence has to come through the gates of acceptance first. If you accept that you are what others say you are, that is another section you have added to the story you tell yourself. You are the writer and you are writing in pencil. Erase what does not serve your worthiness.

 

5. You are in control!

You are in control of what you allow or do not allow in your life. You are in control of what opportunities to take or to bypass. You are in control whether to settle or to chase and conquer the impossible. You are in control of the story you tell yourself. You are in control of how much effort to feed your happiness or misery. You are in control of who is allowed to take up space in your life. You are in control where you invest your energy. You are in control of your worthiness. You can let worthiness be a self-imposed limitation or a complete liberation, up to you